My Way vs Her Way
Updated: Feb 1
There are a two ways to get things done in life. My way or my wife’s way. And if I was completely honest with you, my wife’s way is far more effective despite my stubborn tendency to continue attempting to accomplish things the way I have for years…whilst being constantly inspired by my wife’s methods.
My way. I think of a great idea. Inspiration hits me all the time. It is so steady that often before I have begun working on a my “great” idea, another idea has taken over it’s place and there is a battle in my monkey brain as to which idea has greater value. Will this idea bring me great joy to create it, will this inspire others, will this provide for my family or is it just something I need to get out of my head and soul before I implode? I methodically and logically go through all the costs of creation from time, materials, space, energy and what I think the potential end results could be, every spectrum from being invited to do a TED talk to burning whatever I have created because it was far more beautiful in flames than in reality.
After much deliberation and discussions with myself, I decide to continue thinking about the idea whilst doing the laundry and dishes and vacuuming because they of course are suddenly more imperative than anything of real value, even though I have probably done them less than 24 hours prior. I know an idea is becoming closer to activation when I write about it or actually talk about with my partner. Though time has shown me that even then, once vocalised, the amount of legitimate reasons (aka lame excuses) I have come up with to explain to myself and others while the great idea is still incubating.
Despite this painfully horrible methodical way of creating, I have somehow managed to create hundreds of paintings and have been apart of a lot of experiences that I am really proud of over the years. The Law of Attraction is very accurate, and I can honestly admit that my own fears and resistance to its flow with my desires have hindered far more works and projects than those actually created.
By this point, I am sure you are wondering what my partners’ way of doing things is…and the best way to describe it is like watching the X-Games. When you see someone launch themselves through the air and wondering how in the world they will land safely on whatever is slightly attached to their bodies. You hold your breath with adrenaline running through your own veins, whilst watching and living vicariously through their bravery, ready to shout and scream and celebrate their victory with them.
Stacie will get an idea in her head, and before thinking about the logistics and possible ways things can go wrong or any hindrances or fears…she jumps. Instantly jumping in the car or online to go buy the book, the materials, whatever is needed to fulfil whatever idea has popped in her head. She doesn’t give her herself time to allow fears or resistance (often in the form of ridiculous logic coming out of my mouth). Sometimes she decides halfway through the creation, oh this isn’t for me, I don’t really like this, and stops or finds a way to create something different with the materials or situation. I find this soooooo damn inspiring. Take this evening for instance. She gets this voice in her head. It is the voice that told her that our love children (puppies) were ready for our home and where to find them. It is the voice that tells her when we have found the right home and to go for it despite higher costs and work being slow with Covid. (Still the best life decision we have made besides marrying each other lol) So after a few months of a niggling thought and desire to form a women’s circle, the voice was adamant that she go for it tonight. Has she ever been to one, or known any women circle leaders? No. Has she lived in the local area a long time and formed friendships with lots of women to know she will have interested participants? No. Is she a social butterfly? Heck no.
So, when the desire hit hard she just put a feeler out on Facebook for our small suburb and within a couple hours had over several dozen women wanting to be apart, and we can feel the snowball effect happening rapidly. The same has been true for her business. She makes candles, and soaps and essential rollers, is also wellness coach who can do reiki, EFT, and ridiculously talented graphic and interior designer, etc. Our home feels, looks and smells so good we never desire to really go anywhere else. It has been a learning curve process as so many of these things seem simple and straightforward but it can be impacted by the weather and dozens of little variables you don’t really know until you start the process. Did you know soaps can sweat if you don’t buy the right base or that candles can burn and look like mashed potatoes if you don’t let them cure for a few weeks after making them? Yeah, neither did she. But she just throws out what doesn’t work or make her come alive and keeps going, pivoting, following her bliss. Creating. Doing. Being.
And there I am. Thinking. Exhausted in my head before I even touch a canvas, wall or blank page.
There are two ways of doing things. And one of them is futile. Your choice.